VACATION JAMAICA

OK so this summer my man & I tried to go to Jamaica, and ended in San Diego, please read previous blog if you are curious as to know why not.

well anyhoo, FINALLY we are in Jamaica! Yes my fav place in the world, were you can eat, drink, play and sleep wheneva, whereeva you want to.

DISCLAIMER: This is an informational blog so in other words if you think you are going to be hysterically entertained then u better just stop reading right now cause u ain't gonna get none of that.

Now not every memory is clear due to certain amount of spirits that was drunk during this vacation therefore I will be force to put in some tainted truths.

First clear memory: no spirits taken due to the fear of falling off the horse. S and I went horseback riding it was a three times doozie, meaning the poor skinny horses had to take s and me up and down the mountain, around the beach and yes even swim in the beach with us on their itty bitty bodies. for what eva the reason jamaica horses are small like the jamaica man. BUT no fear I did not care how itty bitty they were I was having a great time, and since this trail was only s and I and the guide I got to trot the horse. S was very uncomfortable b/c when my lead horse trotted his horse followed which unfortunate bruised s' manhood. But do not worry I too suffered when I got back to the hotel room, I ended up with a bruise on my butt ( both sides for 4 days)and trust me having anything black under your butt when you are wearing a bikini is not so nice. CRUSES 2 me for having fun on a skinny horse!!!
OH the best part of the horse trail was when I told the tour guide I wish I could have a coconut up there on the tree and he jumps off his horse, gets a big bamboo stick from I have no idea were, goes to the palm tree and starts hitting the coconut with his stick, and down down comes three coconuts which is chopped up from the top with his sword and yes it was a sword, which is handed down to me to drink and you better believe it. I dranked it and so did s and so did the guide and it was the greates eva b/c as the guide told us, it is the only liquid that touches the heart. I do not know if it touched my heart but it fo sho touched my stomach b/c I had a bad stomach ach that night and was indisposed in the toilet for a while :( it is true coconut is a laxative:( S and I took so many pics on the trail and I would love to post one for you but to my dismay s accidental deleted all the pics that day when he was looking through them so now I have only my millions of brains to recollect only the good parts.
Has it happened 2 you that you accidentally taken a laxative not knowing?

Snorkeling is B E A UUUTIFUL thing I LOVE it but not when I get too closed to anything then the creepy willies comes along. that is all I have to say about that.

NAKED PPL!
so s and I are walking around the hotel hand in hand and lo and behold we come across a section of naked ppl. apparently there is a naked section which is optional. Now i heard of this when we first got to the hotel but i thought it was the pool area, b/c a girl was topless, but hell 2 the no they had another small pool area with a small beach next to it that is OPTIONAL NAKEDNESS BUT it is all naked not a stitch of clothes 2 been seen. Now my first thoughts were, man i guess this ppl do not have to pack so much, they only need a small bag, and next time I am at an airport and a couple only has a small bag I will know they are nasty little nudies. anyhoo back to s and i stumbling to the nudies now I really did try not to look but OH MY GOD they were all old nasty little nudies i mean saggy saggy saggy. all the ladies had huge boobs but they were to their knees and the old mans oh my gosh it was more of an nightmare rather than OH BOY OH BOY nude ppl. Has it eva happened 2 you that you stubble to a nude colony and instead of being hot naked bodies was rather old wittered ones?

KARAOKE anyone, yes it was the best. s took the award for the worst singer and i am not even joking. i sang dancing queen for aba and was pretty bam good from what my drunken ears heard and all the girls was dancing and cheering so that was good 4 me. s sang al green, let's stay together and as I said he won the worst singer prize. at least it was a prize.

the rest of the vacation of dancing eating and drinking and having lots of R & R and let me say this week back in the states is :(

the end